It’s official; the May primary election season is here and in full swing. And unfortunately, you are about to be inundated with television ads, campaign mailers and phone calls to convince you that you must vote for one candidate in order to save the Republic or you must vote against another candidate in order to save the Republic. I feel your pain.
So with that basic premise, I’ve decided to scribble down a few “rules” things that candidates should try to follow. With a little bit of luck, it will make their lives a lot easier and spare them some embarrassing moments, but more importantly, it will make the voters lives easier and spare them the grief of having to watch those embarrassing moments.
Drum roll, please.
1. Don’t tell me how you oppose the Trump agenda. Because to be honest, I think some of you are so blinded by your hatred of Donald Trump that he could propose universal health care, free college tuition and birth control, and massive regulations and raise taxes on the wealthy, and you would still oppose him because his name was Trump.
2. Don’t tell me how you support the Trump agenda. Because to be frank, I don’t think many of you fully understand it. If you did, you wouldn’t support tariffs that at the end of the day end up hurting Indiana pork and soybean producers because the Chinese will retaliate and impose their own tariffs on American products.
3. Don’t tell me about your religion. I can respect you being a person of faith, but what does that have to do whether cutting taxes will help create jobs in a universe of 3.5 percent unemployment?
4. When you say you’re “pro-family,” what exactly does that mean? Families come in all shapes, sizes, and colors so do you have a preference? And to be honest, I always thought the best pro-family policies were the ones that let families keep their own money and make their own decisions (including whether to create a family) with as little government intervention as possible.
5. I really don’t care that your family has been here since Indiana was part of the Northwest Territory if anything that means you never left. And if you’ve never left, you have no idea what life is like in outside world which frightens me even more.
6. Don’t tell me we need to “cut the fat” and end “wasteful spending” give me details, particularly cuts that will impact your constituents. It’s easy to point out everyone else’s wasteful spending, but what pet projects are in your district are willing to go without?
7. I know the other candidate is bad, now tell me why you’re good. Yes, the other guy is a RINO (Republican in name only) or DINO (Democrat in name only) and they don’t represent true conservative/progressive values. We’ve established that. Now let’s talk about you.
8. Don’t insult my intelligence. I am willing to bet money I’m a lot smarter than you, and if you don’t believe me, let’s sit down for a one on one interview so I can clearly demonstrate it to you.
9. Stay in your lane. If you’re running for township trustee, talk to me about how you plan to stop wasting my money doing a job at an unnecessary level of government. Don’t tell me how you support building a border wall 2,000 miles away from your township boundary lines.
10. Act like an adult and don’t talk to the voters like they are children. They are a lot smarter than you think they are, they usually don’t have a lot to pick from on the ballot.
There are a lot of other things I could add; don’t blame the media for your screw-ups, don’t try to say you’re an outsider even though you’ve been on the government dole since the late 1990s. And if government is such a horrible, evil thing, don’t go on ad nauseum telling me why you want the job.
But I decided to limit it only to ten items. I could have included a lot more. Unfortunately, there is not that much space in the cloud for all the rules I would need to write to bring some sense of sanity to the insanity that is coming this primary season.
Abdul is the editor and publisher of IndyPolitics.Org. He is also an attorney with the law firm of Lewis and Wilkins LLP. His opinions are his own, but you are free to adopt them.